Our Engagement Story: Countdown to Marriage #1

Welcome back to my blog!

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It feels good to be sharing something positive again, after my last post of a rather negative experience (link to my post about why I left university). This week, I am so pleased to announce that after over four years together, Dean and I are officially engaged with plans to marry this Fall. Dean proposed to me at the beginning of February this year and we then made it official by announcing to our friends and family. For the majority of the month, I awaited a ring to be delivered, but however this sadly never made it to the UK (or at least not that I know of). Now that I finally have my engagement ring and plans are in place for the wedding, do I actually truly feel officially engaged, a wife-to-be…

The proposal itself was nothing spectacular or planned out- it was very spontaneous and very real. I guess this was probably the best kind of proposal I could ask for really, as it was just so out of the blue and in the moment- not that we hadn’t talked about getting married before, and we have been together for 4 years and as a very family-orientated couple, it was no real shocker that it happened; however it was the timing that was the big surprise for me and made it special.

Without going into the reasons for it, I was in a pretty low place which is very rare for me, and I was getting  anxiety emotions-that constant trembling feeling I have when my confidence sinks. I felt pretty bad for bringing Dean down with my miserable presence as he is on a roll at the moment- his job is the best, he’s stuck into his final year of uni and his business ideas are beginning to take off. He is, without a doubt, the positive light in my life and I do my utter most to allow him to pick me up, rather than extinguish his candle with my negativity. All of this triggered a long conversation with Dean and, in the right moment, he just proposed. As I would prefer to keep the nature of the conversation to ourselves, please just trust me when I say it was the right moment and that Dean wasn’t just cheering me up by proposing- I was in a pretty bad rut and it felt like the right time to make official plans to be married.

Things started to become real when we began calling close friends and family to announce the good news and pretty soon it was on social media. We decided that we didn’t want a long engagement and we did not want a huge wedding. I have always been pro marriage, but not always too fussed about the wedding itself. I’m up for celebrating with everyone we know, yet with a very introverted core, the idea of a wedding ceremony actually scares me. Being center of attention is a childhood fear that I have never really got over- I haven’t really wanted to, I just don’t like all eyes on me. I can happily talk to a camera and make videos of me or share my thoughts in writing, but having a live audience is a whole different matter.

Therefore, Dean was happy to compromise, which I really do appreciate, going for the low key registry office option, with 2 witnesses to sign the registers for the legal bit. We will then have a small celebration with our immediate family and close friends in Sheffield. We plan to have the reception the following weekend with a larger party, as we can only do this ceremony option on a Wednesday, which is a bit awkward but we are happy with it all the same 🙂

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As we began making plans and it all started to become real as we make steady progress for “the big days”, there was one little thing that felt missing. My ring, which Dean ordered for me the night he proposed, still had not arrived- after Dean chased the sellers, still no sign of it’s whereabouts. I had wanted something different and unique- I’m not really a ring wearing kinda girl, so I never really know what kind of ring to go for but we have always said as a joke that we wanted a pokeball ring (from the Japanese show, Pokemon, in case any readers are not aware). We did find one that was very neat and pretty, without looking like a tacky cosplay thing and was genuine silver with diamonds. This ring, I guess, wasn’t meant to be…

So last weekend, Dean and I had a day out in York, as we went to see our friend whom was in the afternoon battle re-enactment as part of Jorvik Viking festival. This particular friend happened to be the mutual friend through whom Dean and I met for the first time- on his 21st birthday party in 2012. Little did we know, almost 5 years later we would be in York watching our friend in battle whilst looking for my destined engagement ring. Dean really wanted me to have a ring, so we felt that as we were in York, it would be cool to get my ring from there, as this city is so close to my heart and I spent most of my childhood and earlier life visiting there. I have always called York my second home.

I am a complete rookie when it comes to jewelry. I have absolutely no idea when it comes to carats and diamonds- I am more into shapes and presentation of the actual thing and what it looks like that draws me to it. I also completely ignore the price tag- I don’t believe in spending so much on something I don’t know the first thing about and can’t possibly appreciate the value of. A couple of hundred quid is definitely enough for me- I do realize that for people into jewelry, they are happier to pay a lot more, but we would rather save as much money as we can for our future travels- another reason why we aren’t breaking the bank with our actual wedding.

So, eventually we came across the one (…ring to rule them all…) When I first saw it, I wasn’t sure. I knew it looked really pretty and I like how discrete it with it’s contrasting colors of gold and silver combined, within the subtle elven design. It was only when I actually tried it on and compared it with a couple of others, did it stand out and I then started getting excited about it the longer I kept it on my finger.

Later on, we went for a walk in the museum gardens, a very significant place to me- many memories of being covered in pigeons and chasing squirrels come back to me every time I walk through those gates. This is where Dean finally put the ring on my finger and the little thing that felt missing became complete. A ring from York was clearly the right one and I love that York was a part of our engagement. We did consider having the wedding in York, however, we felt it more practical to keep it in Sheffield to make it easier for our Cumbrian visitors.

I guess I left it until now to write an engagement blog post as it’s only now that I own a ring and that it does matter where it came from, that it feels like it is getting real. Our plans are looking pretty solid for our marriage in October. I can’t wait to celebrate and become a Mrs- to me, marriage is important in terms of creating a family name. Some people combine names, some people just combine their children’s names- however you prefer it, is up to the couple; this is where I am all traditional and will happily take Dean’s name 🙂

I am now  pleased to say that things are beginning to take shape with both wedding plans and my recent job offer I have received- this time I am positive that I will be happy and will be able to continue my projects around a job I am actually happy in. Spring certainly is around the corner and it’s looking certain that I will achieve my goals by Spring Day!

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Thank you for taking an interest in this particular event in my life. This will be the first chapter in my Countdown to Married Life series, as I plan on documenting this next few months in my last days as an official single girl. Watch this space if you are interested in other happenings and thoughts as we get closer to married life…

All the best,

Heather ^_^

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