Two Magpies

The days are long, yet the daylight makes haste. I watched the busy world around me get “back to the norm” -back to their busy lives… I am, but an observer of this game. Day in, day out, I watch others fulfill their routines which allows their time to disappear with a blink; and here I sit, living each and every second they claim to have lost…

Slowly, I craft around my own time, desperate for routine to take form. If it ever does… Even though I’m back to my ‘commitment’, I still carry the weight of those dark days on my shoulders. I wait in frustration, longing for that beat to drop, and my own rhythm to finally kick in…

 

For some time now, I have dragged my feet. Where I used to hold so much energy for each part of my life, I now feel bound, held back and trapped in this slow-motion era, like the feeling of needing to run in a dream, or throw a punch but it’s like moving through water. A wild mare, trapped with a pain bit in my mouth and my head bound, tightly as I race around the smallest arena, circling again and again…Each day I curse myself by waiting. Holding back until that day… The day my new life can begin…. This is what I see, beyond those hills outside of the arena.

I feel as though I have been thinking and writing of these fears and concerns forever. This dream has been in my vision forever and is now to be confused with a mirage on the horizon… I watch from this blustery summit of this mountain of anxiety, of risk! I search for the way down, yet freezing fog is still thick and unforgiving. I feel as though I am to play the waiting game again, holding onto what faith I nestle within my heart. My heart of a mustang, believing I must be strong… I search for the Cairn which claims others prove it can be done. I search for my feet, that they are still solid below me. I  search for my loyal companion, that he is strong by side, neither leading, nor behind. I search for two Magpies, teaching me not to give up, a sign, reflecting majestically in their  midnight blue wings… They bound so playfully within the warm, loving arms of the trees, chattering joyfully.

 

How I long to join them in the warmth of the Spring sunshine. How I long to laugh freely with the mild breeze and dance under the newborn leaves. How I pray that it shan’t be too long, not long now, until we are two Magpies, bounding triumphantly to the Springtime melody. We hop to a rhythm of succession, how our wings survived the Winter storms. We chatter of the struggle, how we’d chattered to each other too. We spread our wings and bathe in admiration, in gratitude that we have reached our dreams… For two young Magpies, we have bounded far enough, over cobbled ground. The time has come for two young Magpies to spread their wings, take flight and share good fortune with other young dreamers around them… For this is what I see, when I see two Magpies.

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Sometimes goals in life can just constantly seem just out of reach. This is what it felt like for me in the early days of 2016. Like waiting for the first blooms of Springtime, we know the changes will come, it’s just about dealing with the patience that comes with these long days and learning to accept the present moments in life and wait. Sometimes, we need to to make things happen. Other times, it’s about the balance between the two…

Thank you for readying this first descriptive piece. Your views and thoughts a welcomed.

Heather

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