Welcome to my ongoing first collection of poetry! Here is the space where I will list the poems in my collection and describe the message and inspirations behind each of them. On the previous page, you would have seen a slideshow with some quotations from these poems. I aim to create a collection that I shall class as my “early work”. Although I am still writing now and my first poem was written back in 2008, these are the poems I have selected, which show my growth and hopefully allow the reader to understand me as well being able to relate in their own unique way, to my words (this is always my intention when I write). All of my first poems will be included in this collection, however, some of the more recent will be saved for another day. I intend to also tell a story, and my collection will end when I believe my first chapter draws to a close before I publish…
1. The Shadow Men
This was my first Poem Of The Month when I set up this site and if you had the chance to read it, you will know exactly what this is about. I had a night terror when I was 16 years old, which I had talked of with my mother before it actually happened to me. This happened during my GCSE examinations, where there was a lot of pressure from school to revise, revise, revise! Now, the way I learn is experiential and revision is totally not my thing, so I was under a great deal of stress (so much that the doctor told me not to revise!) I believe I was putting myself under so much pressure due to comparing my lack of ability to revise, with my friends whom many had their heads stuck in books right through the exam period. The night the Shadow Men came to visit me, I was so fearful, I did not go back to sleep that night and it took me a few nights to sleep back at the head of my bunk bed, in fear of seeing that dark face in the middle of the night.
This was perhaps the most traumatic thing I have ever experienced. I realize that compared to others, this may not seem much, however if you have had nightmares like this then you will understand. I know it is the most traumatic event in my life because I feel that I haven’t been able to write about something where the main emotion is fear ever since! The Shadow Men is a unique poem to me and I have nothing else like it in my collection so far. Not that I’m wishing trauma upon myself, but the reason for this, I think is due to the fact that I haven’t experienced anything this scary since…
2. Magnetic North
This is a poem which meant so much more to me at the time, as my innocence shielded me from the reality that was present in life at the tender age of 16 or 17. The experience, reflected was when I was 16, however, when this poem was written through rose tinted glasses, I was isolated in a fantasy and I was completely unaware… So now I leave the message within this poem completely to the reader, rather than erase it for my life- as these feelings were authentic at the time. I guess you could say this was about the loving, tender relationship I dreamed of and thought I had at the time; the teenage dreams I had in contrast to those of Shadow Men visiting me at stressful times were to last much longer and this fantasy state was to continue reflecting for some time…
3. The Last Ride
From a poem that no longer means the same, to one that perhaps means more to me now than ever and will always reflect my relationship with the creatures whom answer to my heart, horses. This poem never fails to make me emotional. Originally written as a song for my band in high school, I never got to perform it, but I now sing it to myself and those close to me to express myself. Sad memories are often therapeutic to relive, however this memory is a constant reminder that in my life with horses, there is always a last ride. I am so desperate to have horses in my life once more, yet next time, I don’t want there to be a last ride. This is my ultimate motivation for success and I will talk more about this subject in my book I am currently working on “My Equine Story” (the title may change).
I was inspired to write “The Last Ride” when I had my last riding lesson at a school which allowed me my first experiences of real horse care, where I would spend all day long in my horse heaven. This was during my early teens and I am grateful for everything I learned there. The horse I rode and had grown quite attached to was a gentle giant of an ex-hunter called Prince. This kind-eyed gentlemen taught me how to jump and so much more. I was given the chance to care for him as my own, allowing that bond to develop between us. He and this poem represents the process I go through every time I have to step back from the equine life every time. I just long to be part of a world where horses are my life for good and this is exactly how it feels to be me in this situation and I know I wont be the only girl (or guy) that longs for an equine partnership for real.
4. Spring is Just Around the Corner
Another one of my most early pieces of poetry; it was from this point, that my parents had began to appreciate a poem for Mother’s & Father’s Day, rather than me spending money on material gifts for them. I enjoy writing for my parents as I’m able to express my gratitude towards them as well as inspire myself to write for a specific date, which is a challenge I enjoy- although it is not really too challenging when there is truth in the words and they come to naturally when I think about writing for those close to me. This poem, as you can imagine, is about that long, cold, wet period in the latter half of Winter as we eagerly anticipate the warming comfort of Spring. In the last line of the poem, I make a reference to the days where we used to attend the local Speedway, which my Mam got really into at this time and was a pretty big part of my childhood and teen life.
One my first expressions of my future dreams, back in 2009 with only minor recent adjustments. This poem is also a song, where the melody just came to me, as if another had taught it to me themselves. I remember being in my Mam’s catering van, helping her out and singing the tune for the first time as there was a lull between customers. Once again, this meant something different to me at the time, yet it worked out for the better as I later developed much more positive relationships since the time this was written, yet the meaning remained then same and reflected the person I wish to see and will be with when I do get my “house by the trees” and we conquer our obstacles along the way.
6. You Were There
At a time when school and college was over and I’d decided to venture down the route of self-employment at the age of 17. I guess I have always had that entrepreneur drive, yet at this tender age of inexperience I was forced to grow up a lot quicker than the average girl in her late teens these days. It didn’t last long, but I gave it my best shot and I had the full support of my family around me and I guess when I wrote this, I wanted to express my gratitude and how difficult it was both for my age and at the time of the recession with not many people having enough spare cash to use my service.
More poems to follow…